Half-Eaten Muffin Just Sits On Desk As Human Rights Council Debates Rohingya Food Security

The Onion—While the United Nations Human Rights Council scrambled to pass their resolution addressing food security for the oppressed Rohingya minority in Myanmar, a half-eaten muffin sat neglected on a desk in the Committee room. The muffin, found at the … Continue reading Half-Eaten Muffin Just Sits On Desk As Human Rights Council Debates Rohingya Food Security

SICK-OH MODE! SUN IS DOWN, FREEZING COLD.

Agence France Presse—In the UNGA-VI, the Delegate of Jamaica accused the Delegates of Israel and Iran of, jointly, “passing assertive statements to protect terrorism” and expressed her perplexion on blaming arab nations for the blame game and violating human rights.” Meanwhile the Delegate of Chile is not very happy with the committee swaying around with no particular discussion in near sight, he sighed and mentioned, “I think we’re just trying to get through it for the last session now!” The Delegate of Jamaica, in support of USA’s stance in the committee, said, “USA is being pretty modest in accepting alterations … Continue reading SICK-OH MODE! SUN IS DOWN, FREEZING COLD.

Top 5 Underrated UN Bodies

Vogue Ban Ki Moon: The eyes, the lips, the slight wattle just below the chin — Ban Ki Moon took the world by storm in 2007 with his air of bravado, sonorous voice, and, of course, rockin’ bod. While he might appear meek from afar, don’t be fooled: Mr. Moon can take you there. Antonio Guterres: The current Secretary-General of the UN is a particularly perfectly proportioned Portuguese beefcake, clocking in at a positively auspicious 69 years old. The leader of the international system as we know it might seem inaccessible, but one look into his deep brown eyes and you’re liable … Continue reading Top 5 Underrated UN Bodies