BREAKING NEWS: El Salvador in Hot Water After Reports of Collusion

Breitbart – Coming in a strange turn of events, El Salvador has been accused of colluding with those leading the General Assembly, in a conspiring action of possibly pre-writing a resolution, according to Uganda and other Member States. When confronted with the accusation, El Salvador only said “I was only referencing the fact I was going to be researching topics”. This is a dangerous game, El Salvador, and one you should be prepared to lose. More information is unavailable, and the motives of either the leaders in the Council or of El Salvador remain unclear, but one thing is certain; parliamentary procedure is dead in the General Assembly, and all of the delegates can be found playing around on a Buzzfeed Quiz. Oh dear! Thank you to the Delegation of Uganda for finally stepping up to the plate and doing something for the International Community – and El Salvador, you should have known that your risky ways would have been caught eventually. This reporter calls on the United Nations General Assembly to take action against any Member State compromising the sanctity of journalistic integrity. Comment from leadership noted a long pause, a clearing of the throat, and “no comment, but noted”. Leadership said they exist to facilitate, not direct, but are for some reason “still called directors”, when pressed for clarification, they said “that’s whack!!!”. We agree, UNGA, that is whack.

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