An Elaborate Game

DER SPIEGEL:

“We are not here for attention,” a young college student who calls himself “Germany in the General Assembly” states. Although the crowded ballroom he and other “delegates” are working in seem to say the opposite.

Recently it has come to the attention of this Der Spiegel writer that a group of American and Canadian university students have been collaborating in an annual elaborate dress-up competition in Vancouver, British Colombia. The apparent intention of the conference is to simulate proceedings of the actual United Nations. University students work as “delegates” in different “committees” to pursue a sense of international cooperation.

Upon interacting with these students, I found that many have succumb to the belief that a reaction will be caused by research and work done over the past three days.

“We are attempting to protect civilians in armed conflict situations,” a student who goes by “Venezuela” says in a room that looks starkly different from the real United Nations Security Council. How this paper and decisions of the body will play out in reality is yet to be seen.

In a different room, colloquially known as Grand Ballroom Salon D, a representation of the “Commission on the Status of Women” just “passed” a Microsoft Word document outlining steps to improve the “education and empowerment of women” internationally. It seems that this United Nations is more productive than the real United Nations, although the delegate known as “Uruguay” in this committee states “on the record, ‘I’m v over it,’” referring to the conference and “everything.”

One student broke her silence on the matter and explained why it is that students willingly pay to attend this conference: “to practice diplomacy?” The student will remain unnamed due to her concern that the leaders will “think I’m more incompetent than I actually am.”

I digress, although her reasoning was received with a sense of uncertainty, further investigation has proven that this conference is a healthy outlet for students to pursue new friendships and learn about issues facing our world.

As “Russia” states in the “CCPCJ,” “international cooperation is taking place,” and while that may not be true in reality, this reporter believes that the cooperation reached here today may translate into a better sense of collaboration for these potential future diplomats.

The writing staff at Der Spiegel wishes these delegates the best in their geopolitical endeavors and expects with pride to eventually see them on the world stage. The staff would also like to formally ask the faux writer of Der Spiegel to cease and desist writing under the false guise of Der Spiegel.

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